we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
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Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
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Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
His nipple licking is glorious
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