We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
