Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
