So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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