so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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