Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When are your genitals available?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
