so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Come share oat with me in your robe
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
