can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
