I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
