I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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