my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
