her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize