Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
