she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
