I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
