the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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