Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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