dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
