and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
