Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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