Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
