Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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