My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
