Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
