Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
