...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
