i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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