she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Randomize
