i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
