Where is the hickey?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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