He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
