Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
