You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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