We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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