you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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