Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
