Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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