i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
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I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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