It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
