Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
