No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
