I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
