So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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