I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
