Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
