Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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