It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Randomize