last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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