Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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