My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
