I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
