please come you make the beer taste better
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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