sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
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