I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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