he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
