He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
