I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
