people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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