VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
