Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
