Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
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She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize