I want to walk on stilts...naked
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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