How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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