Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize