he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
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I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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