We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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