I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
