I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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